Five Things People Regret at the End of Retirement (退休人士最常後悔的五件事)
Source: Root Financial
there are five things people commonly do that they end up regretting at the end of their retirement in today's video I'm going to walk you through these five regrets so you can avoid them and make sure you have the most fulfilling retirement possible hey everyone I'm James Canal founder root financial and I'm here to teach you how to get the most out of life with your money Stephen caveat's amazing book called The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People one of those habits was to begin with the end in mind so as we're looking at retirement and trying to make this the most perfect amazing time possible we have to understand what's our goal for retirement well one of those is probably to minimize regrets if we want to have that fulfillment if we want to have that enjoyment we want to avoid the regrets that may come if we aren't intentional about our retirement so one of the best ways to do this is to learn from those that have gone ahead of us what are the common regrets most people will cite at the end of their retirement how can we understand what those are today and then take steps take measures to avoid them in our own lives well fortunately for us we have some amazing resources that help shine a light on this bronyaware is a nurse from Australia and she spent her days taking care of those who were in the last three months of their life that was part of this she would ask them what are some of your greatest regrets when you look back on your life and what she found was there's very common recurring regrets that most people had she saw that the common themes would surface over and over again and because of this she wrote a book of the top five regretsies people have in understanding these is crucial so we can design Our Lives we can design our retirement in a way to avoid these regrets now before you start thinking hey what does this have to do with retirement doesn't retirement about social security and Medicare and 401ks and taxes yes those are the things that fund your retirement but retirement's not actually about any of those things retirement's about creating it's about being intentional about designing the life we want to live so we can get the maximum fulfillment and purpose out of those wonderful years of our life so what we're going to be talking about is what are the regrets people have that things that would have fulfilled them that they would have found purpose in and then how can we navigate in such a way to avoid those and create the retirement we dream about so let's explore the most five common regrets people have so that we can create a life and create a retirement of intention and purpose and meaning the first regret the brawning shares is she says people tell her they wish they had the courage to live a life true to themselves not the lives others expected she goes on to say when people realize that their life is almost over and they look back clearly on it it's easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to the choices they had made or not made so look at your life what you are doing is it because it's your dream and what you want your life to look like or is it because it's what's expected of you either consciously or subconsciously what are you doing for work what house do you live in what car do you drive what activities do you engage in it's something that we just get caught up in and sometimes we just don't take the time to consciously think is this what I want and what's best for my family or is this what my neighbor does or my brother-in-law does or what I feel is is expected of Me based upon my position in life now what's the application when it comes to our working years and preparing for retirement well too often I see people working jobs they hate to earn an income so they can buy homes and buy cars to impress people they don't even care about or their work in jobs they hate because they're afraid to disappoint their boss by going in a different direction they're afraid to disappoint their co-workers by saying you know what this isn't what I want to be doing so often our daily actions at work and otherwise are to appease or impress or at least not to disappoint other people who have expectations of us and unless we're consciously aware of that we start to live our life in the direction that's not necessarily what we want to be doing so living intentionally designing a retirement that you are going to be passionate about that you are going to enjoy it takes courage it takes stepping out of the expectations of others sometimes and thinking about what do I want what's best for me for my family for those I care about how can I design a life and a retirement that pursues that as opposed to pursuing what I think I need to be doing for work what I think I need to be living at and what home that might be what I think I need to be driving what I think I need to be doing with my time be intentional about this because if not what brawny shared was a number one regret was living to fulfill someone else's expectations as opposed to those who actually cared second most common thing that brawny found is she says that people's regret the second biggest regret was I wish I hadn't worked so hard and there's nothing wrong with hard work of course unless it comes at the cost of time with family or friends or things you care she went on to say this she said all the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence now I think this is something a lot of people struggle with I know I personally do it's easy to be caught up in work it's easy to get excited about the good aspects of it but really for identities to get lost in what we're doing for work James Clare who's the author of atomic habits has a wonderful question that he encourages people to reflect on often and that question is what are you optimizing for what are you optimizing for are you working the way you're working because it somehow benefiting you and your family in a tangible way or are you just doing this because it's part of what you've always been doing are you optimizing for another promotion or a higher income or another job that you don't really enjoy that's not actually the purpose of what you want to be doing but that's somehow what you're spending your time optimizing for or are you optimizing for things more intentionally again the time with family the time pursuing what's important to you your health other factors like that now as you're listening to this what are you optimizing for you know knowing that one of the greatest regrets people have at the end of their lives is spending so much time at work and knowing that many of us collectively spend so much time at work as you think about what are you optimizing for what's the first thing that comes to mind be sure to leave a comment below and I'd love to see what you all have to say though we have to understand with work there will always be more projects more emails more expectations and again work can be an amazing thing I love what I do for work I love the work that I get to do I know many of you also love what you get to do for work but it's helpful to understand the regret of the dying their regrets of the people looking back on their lives was they wish they hadn't spent so much time in work this is what we're really doing today because it brings us maximum fulfillment because it brings our family's maximum fulfillment or is it what we're caught up in are we working for work's sake when we should be focused on being intentional with our time in pursuing other things as well the third thing that bronnie shared when she said here's the top progress of people looking back in their lives the third regret is people say I wish I had the courage to express my feelings more now when she asked to explain this she said many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others as a result they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming many even developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment They carried as a result now I think this is something common that we all naturally have we all naturally don't want to rock the boat we naturally want others to like us we want to be pleasing to others but what we find is you can take that to in a third greatest regret people had when looking back on their lives was they wish they hadn't done that they wish they had the courage to be themselves and express their feelings more because what they found was that it was exhausting it was suppressive to constantly be living to please a boss or to please a co-worker to please a neighbor or someone with expectations of you that you really don't even care about but that's an exhausting way to live that many of us fall into the Trap so as you're examining your life whether it's your career or your retirement or the things that you're doing how can we be aware of that how can we be aware that it's uncomfortable sometimes to express fully what we want to express or to be fully we want to be but when we look at those who have gone ahead of us their number three regret was doing that how can this start to shape some of the things we do with our lives today the fourth thing that brawny found when she was interviewing the dying is they said I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends she went on to say often they will not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until they're dying weeks it was not always possible to track them down many had become so caught up in their own lives that they let go of golden friendships and they had slipped by over the years now we all instinctually know how important relationships are how important Community is we've all been told hey the quality of your relationships is largely going to determine the quality of your life but the thing about relationships is they're not urgent you know that deadline not work that thing you have to do that chore that needs to get done that's very urgent it's in front of you it's requiring your full attention friendships aren't that way they're extremely important but they're not urgent now the tie-in to retirement here is when you're retired you have all day every day to choose what you want to do what a wonderful time to be intentional about how can I maintain these wonderful relationships how can I re-establish some of these relationships that had slept but understanding the people on the other side of retirement people in their final days saying I wish I hadn't let those relationships slip is so important and to understand what can we do today to pour into the relationships we have to rekindle some of the relationships that have Maybe started to slip away in doing so we're going to have a more meaningful a more purposeful a more enjoyable retirement but it takes that intention to maintain those relationships throughout our lives so we don't look back and regret the friendships we let slide and finally the fifth regret that brawny found When She interviewed those who were on their deathbed is they said I wish that I let myself be happier Ronnie goes on to say many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice they had stayed stuck in Old patterns and habits she found that those that were happy they made up their mind to be happy those that weren't happy they made up their mind not to be happy now granted everyone has different circumstances many people have different lives some people above lives are much harder than others but what she found was that happiness was a choice and as you retire and you have all the time in the world what are you going to do at that time are we gonna stick ourselves in front of a TV and look at the Doom and Gloom and look at everything going on it's probably going to lead to an unhappy life are we going to choose to pursue things that are good in doing that and make the choice to be happy what we find is that happiness is very much a decision that we all have to make for ourselves so ask yourself what makes you happy what makes you unhappy how can we do more of the former and less of the latter how can we do the things especially in retirement when we have a blank slate to create what we want to create how can we ensure we're both pursuing the things that make us happy but also simply deciding to be happy this deciding to be grateful deciding that we're going to have the type of life that we're not going to look back on one day and regret allowing ourselves not to choose happiness so understand that it's a very simple exercise there's nothing complicated about it but again as with all these things it takes intention it takes looking at your life and understanding what do I want to create with this thing called life so I can get to the end and look back on it and say that was a great life that was a great retirement I did the things I wanted to do and I avoided any of the common regrets that people commonly make so again what does this have to do with retirement why am I talking about this am I supposed to be talking about money yes but money only exists to support this life we're trying to create money only exists as a tool to help us live in the way we want to live so if we're not living the right way first living with intention living with happiness no amount of money can cover that up so it doesn't do you any good to have the best tax strategy the best social security strategy the best investments the best allocation none of that is any good if it's not supporting a bigger vision for a wonderful meaningful purposeful retirement so getting this right is super important it's crucial so we're designing the investment strategies and Tax Strategies and withdrawal strategies it's all being done to support that
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